Hi! My name is (insert scratch) Slim Shady!

I promised you guys a story, and here is it. No, it's not about Eminem. However it is about some shady business.

Once upon a time there was a girl. We’ll call her, um…Cruella DeVille, C for short. Well C had a dream to open a yarn shop, and she did just that. However being a small business just starting out she called on her friends for help. Luckily for C she lived I a city we’ll call Santino Applebottom. Santino Applebottom (from here on in known as SA) has a large population of knitters and these knitters are always willing to do what they can to help someone out.

So C approaches these knitters and asks for help. Says that she’ll pay them in yarn. The knitters think this is cool, and there is a buzz among the group about how cool the new store will be. Then something happened. C sent out an email that said she’d allow the knitters to buy yarn at cost in exchange for working for her. Now the knitters are confused, this is not the deal that they remembered so most of them decided not to do it if they weren’t going to get paid. There were two knitters though that decided to help out anyways. We’ll call them Uniqua and Veruca Salt. I can’t speak for Veruca, but I know Uniqua quite well. She didn’t mind not getting paid, because she liked working there and figured she was helping her friend.

Time went on and the gals started getting paid. C even hired another employee, we’ll call her Blossom. Everyone was working and teaching classes and it was all good.

Then one day, Uniqua get a call about a job. She had submitted her resume about three months before so she had all but forgotten about it. It was a good job, so Uniqua decided that if they made the offer she would take it. Uniqua told Cruella about the interview. C said she understood and wished her luck. C asked ‘you’re still going to teach, right?’ and to this Uniqua answered ‘of course’. Well Uniqua got the job and they wanted her to start right away. She talked to C about continuing to teach, even brining up an idea about an all day Saturday workshop where people could come and go and we’d teach a different skill every hour or so. Uniqua even offered to help with shop samples, knitting up a teeny sweater to display at the shop.

Fast forward to Uniqua’s second day at her new job. She’s supposed to teach a class that night, beginning knitting, so she heads over to the store straight from the office. When she gets there she notices C isn’t there, which is odd because she’s always there on Wednesday nights. Veruca is there instead. Veruca tells Uniqua that ‘they’ decided to do things a little differently and the new schedule was up. Uniqua looks at it and doesn’t see her name but she figures C didn’t know when she was available to teach and was waiting to get with her. But THEN she sees that Veruca is teaching HER sock class on HER night. She asks Veruca what the hell is going on. Veruca says she’s not getting into it, but she thinks maybe Cruella ‘wasn’t sure you still wanted to be an employee’. Uniqua calls bullshit. Veruca plays dumb. Uniqua is ready to just walk out but she doesn’t want to do that to her students, so she waits. They arrive and she helps them pick out yarn and needles suitable for a beginner. Uniqua walks them up to the register and that’s when she sees them…business cards all lined up. Everyone has one but her. Final straw.

At this time Blossom walks in. Uniqua calls them both to the side and tells them that she’s going home. By now Uniqua is crying and just wants to get out of there. She can’t understand how C could be such a cowardly bitch to someone who did nothing but help her out. The other two women hug Uniqua and tell her to take it easy and that it will be ok and they are sorry. At this point Uniqua has no reason not to believe them.

Uniqua calls her friend Tasha, who say C is a mean asshole and she can’t believe it. The two discuss it for a bit and hang up.

Later on that night Uniqua has a voice mail on her phone from C. C says she is sorry, and that she probably could have handled the situation better. She says she felt that since Uniqua has a job with a good salary now it was only fair to give all Uniqua’s classes to Veruca and Blossom since the shop was the only job they have and (get this) they need the money. Then she says to ‘remember, she’s new at this manager stuff’

Yeah, yeah, I know what you are thinking but this happened. Seriously. And it gets worse. C goes on to say how she discussed the issue with Veruca and Blossom. What? She discussed it with the two who acted like they had no idea? And the three of them thought it was a good idea to do something this cruel to another human being? One that was there to help since day one?

By now Uniqua has discussed the situation not only with Tasha, but with Tyrone, Pablo, and Austin, too *and it's only a matter of time before Dora, Boots, Backpack, and Diego catch wind of the situation). They all agree that C is a triflin’ ass bitch who didn’t have the balls to approach Uniqua and handle the situation woman to woman. Really Uniqua would have felt better is C just said ‘I hate you working here. Leave.’ At least it wouldn’t have been cowardly. There is nothing worse (in Uniqua’s mind anyway) then thinking everything is business as usual and then find out you were being ‘discussed’ behind your back. Is this how to run a business? To treat your employees? Your friends?

And as for Veruca and Blossom, who’s lying? Did you know or didn’t you? If you did you are just as shitty as C. All of the Backyardigans hope that the one or two hundred dollars extra a month that you snatched out from under Uniqua’s nose was worth alienating yourself from the group of friendly knitters I spoke of previously. I hope C realizes how many people will never set foot in her shop again.

Did y'all like my little story? F*cked up, huh? Well I know firsthand how f*cked up because it happened to me. I was the one who had her classes stolen out from underneath her nose. I'm the one who had her cowardly ass 'boss' call and leave a half~assed excuse on her cell phone after firing her without notice, making sure she had left the shop yesterday before I got there. I'm the one who had the two 'friends' who helped plot behind my back, smile in my face and tell me it was gonna be ok. I'm the one who stood there staring at the schedule trying to figure out why I wasn't on it.

I'm the one.

Whew. Now I'm tired. If you got this far I thank you. Post a comment and I'll put your name in a hat for some yummy sock yarn. I'm feeling generous tonight :o)