Monday, January 16, 2006

The Mommy Wars

Why is it that a woman's worst critic is another woman?

I was blog surfing and came across a discussion that I can't for the life of me find again. It was about an article that was discussing women who, upon graduating from college, said that they had made the choice to become homemakers instead of entering the workforce. There were lots of comments and lots of ideas about the article. But the ones that really got me were the women that made it sound like they were throwing their educations (and lives for that matter) away to be stay at home mothers. One even went as far as to say that she would *never* depend on another human being. Wow.

Through the years, women have fought hard to be able to do what they wanted in life. There's 'take your daughter to work day'. We've drilled it into the heads of little girls everywhere that they can be whatever they want to be. Well, did whatever they want to be only apply if they aspired to carry a briefcase?

I worked for years. I was in the Air Force when my two older children were born. We utilized daycare. I had to take business trips. It worked for us for a while.

When we relocated to MD from AZ I decided I really wasn't crazy about my line of work. We decided I would stay home and go to school, which lasted until I got pregnant and now my last year is on hold. I'm ok with that. I'm also ok with depending on my husband, and the dependence is not only financial. I depend on him to be there for me, to help me with the kids, and to be my best friend. He in turn depends on me. Could you imagine all the stuff he would have to pay someone to do if I (goodness forbid) dropped dead?

I depend on my friends, I depend on my sister, hell I depend on my cat to curl up with me and make me feel better after a hard day! Anyone who says they don't depend on others is pretty lonely.

All that said, I by no means don't think a homemaker shouldn't have a plan for herself. I'm prepared in case of the unexpected. Everyone should have a plan, working women included.

It's funny, while there are definitely stay at home dads out there you don't hear the same kind of hoopla. Why? Well I think it stems from a man's ability to mind his own business. A man couldn't care less what the guy down the street is doing, even if he doesn't agree with it. Women? It's almost as though we have to belittle the choices of another in order to feel good about the choices we've made. I think that's sad. We'd be a force to reckon with if we all just stuck together.

So...hey to all the women out there! Be supportive of your sisters. Daycare is NOT evil and women who work are most certainly raising their own children. Women who stay home are not uneducated doormats. Homemaking is not something you fall into by default. A stay at home mother's job is important too.

With this being the new year, lets try to free our minds and be a little more accepting of ideas that are different from our own.

Ok, I'm done :o)

This past week we had a birthday..

We've got a five year old! Although according to him he 'still feels four'! We let him choose dinner and took him to Toys R Us and let him pick out whatever he wanted. So we would up with pizza and some dinosaur castle that took DH all Saturday afternoon to put together!

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see how excited folks get when they're about to eat cake?

Even Isaiah got in on the action...

Since My oldest turns 7 in February and they hang in the same circles, we're going to throw a joint party. Of course Chuck E. Cheese was the first suggestion. I'm trying to talk them into the skating rink. The skating rink was *the place* to be when I was growing up, and to have your birthday party there was too cool. I guess I'm getting old.

Knitting news. Ella. I should be done soon...

I left out a repeat because I thought it was big enough and also because I wanted to make sure that there wasn't the slightest possibility of running out of yarn!

Next I plan to cast on for either Clapotis or the Ribby Cardi as part of the Behind the times KAL. Perhaps I'll do both? I really want to do the Ribby, since I've had the yarn forever and I need a cardigan that I wouldn't be embarrased to wear out of the house.

DHs birthday is on Wednesday. Maybe I can talk him into a skating party??


Trillian42 said...

Hear, hear. I hate feeling like I am being judged for choosing to be a homemaker. You put it very eloquently.

And I agree with trixie - what a handsome group of men you live with, you lucky lady!

And Ella is gorgeous! Maybe if I even make it to Borders, I'll see it in person!


Insomiknitac said...

ella looks great! :)
i love that jaylen says he still feels four that is so cute!
i really miss holding isiah :(

Kimberly said...

Your boys are adorable!! Your Ella is looking great too!
I love your blog and I absolutely agree with you about being a sahm. Here in Germany I get critized more than ever. One woman asked me if I'd ever done anything workwise. I have a degree in Spanish and have attended the university here in Berlin for 3 years(after learning German well enough), then went on to teach Math and English in a private international school before getting pregnant. I'm staying home with the kids for at least 3 years-that's the amount of time they give you here- and then I'll think about going back. I really don't want to, I think my kids are more important than all the money in the world.
Just my opinion from one Kim to another!